I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
