youre lurking in front of me
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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