I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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