I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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