Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
