it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
