Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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