I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
