what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
