If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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