six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
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