I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I touched a dick in church today
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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