Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
