i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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