Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
