I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
