Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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