the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize