you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
