Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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