I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
