Kiss
Puke
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
