I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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