AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
