everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
