i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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