Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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