that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize