i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
