Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Please don't give away my fajitas
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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