is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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