Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I understand Curling. That high.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
