you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
