Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
