I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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