Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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