Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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