So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Still dying that you shit outside
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
