my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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