it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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