just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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