Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
