If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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