weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
