their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
