mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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