It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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