So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
