I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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