literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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