I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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