How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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