so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
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He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
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Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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