Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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