I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
