you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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